OMG!! I've been on a roller coaster and it's making me ill... Yesterday, after threatening law suit to the Case Manager to keep Tracy in the hospital; we had the Fellow paged. He came in and I fired off "We need your help. Tracy's white cell count is 1.1, so he's neutrapenic. He has the diarrhea under control only because he's still on lomotil not because anyone's figured out what's caused it. He's short of breath; he's retaining so much water, he looks 9 months pregnant & his legs are 3x normal size & he still has pneumonia!!! He has tremendous pain walking and /or just bending over to put on his slippers. So, please help us to understand why you've placed discharge orders for Tracy ?!!! ARE YOU NUTS?!!!!"
I have to admit I got his attention.... He laughed and then, began to explain but I interrupted and said we don't understand... "are you putting him out to pasture? Have you given up? I love this man and I'd love to have him home but not until he's well or at least able to manage on his own. I was admitted to law school and decided not to go. I'm smart and able to figure things out BUT I'm not a doctor or a nurse. I'm not a full time care giver. I am a Realtor and I need to work. It keeps me sane and keeps us afloat. You just can't do this!!!" Well we talked and he relented and thanked me for being Tracy's advocate. I was totally exhausted. I curled up in Tracy's arms and fell asleep. Secure and feeling like we accomplished something. I decided to drive home cause my body couldn't handle another night on the cot. I stopped at my book club's Christmas gathering on the way home to gather hugs and enjoy a brief respite.
I slept 10 hours straight last night and awoke to Tracy's slightly stronger voice explaining that he was being discharged today. WTF?!!!!! I'm on my way to Stanford... we'll see