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Concerned Citizen and a Serial Entrepreneur wrapped in a progressive democratic soul longing for us all to get along.

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Today is Tuesday, December 30th, 2014

Johnny & Shar supported me through Christmas on Cape Cod.  Very cold the first few days but no snow.  Great to visit with Jay & Holly, Arwen & Ethan.  I am very thankful for my family on the first Christmas without T.  

I've been back for 3 days but totally consumed with getting my rentals squared away.  Lots of stories there... the tenants from Hell pulled a fast one yesterday but thank God I had consulted an attorney... he says they've done this before...  And then Tracy sent Reuben, the wonderful man who helped to build our home, to my door on Sat. night.   He's Tracy trained.  I never even thought of him; but so thankful that he chose to stop by and visit when he did.   He started the work on my trashed rental today.

Anyway, I hope to have a quiet day tomorrow.  Walk on the beach, see my grief counselor and check the progress on the rental.   Keep thinking about how I spent last year's holiday season and missing my T.  We were alone for both holidays cause T had just been discharged and was neutrapenic.... I've finally decided to start taking Wellbutrin - 75 mg. twice a day, however, yesterday & today, I only took the morning dose and the evening headache has disappeared.  I actually am able to handle what's required of me right now without retreating to my bed.  Just started it on Sat. and I already feel better.  I've been soooo sad.... 

I'm learning how to live without my T.  It's so hard to accept that he's never coming home... I'll never see his dimple when he grinned or feel his arms around me.... missing his physical presence; his ability to figure it out no matter what it was...the rock and the roll of him.... Riley misses him so, too... I can't fill the void but there's no choice involved.  He's still here in my heart and surrounding our home.  I've even finally decided to stay home tomorrow night.  Riley & I will be eating a fresh Dungeness crab, salad and enjoying a nice Petite Syrah and watching a couple movies.  Perhaps even watching the ball drop... didn't make it last year.... I feel it's the only way for me to acknowledge the loss of the love of my life and usher in the new year... hope yours is fabulous!!


Arwen & Ethan unwrapping their gifts

Johnny & Shar

Jay & Holly Christmas Day
Be safe!!!   Carpe diem!!!   Surrounding Di & Mike with love, peace and lots of white light... 

Saturday, December 20, 2014

Today is Saturday, Dec. 20th

Celebrated Johnny's birthday with he and Shar at the Angler's Club in Hyannis last night.. great spot to eat and relax...
That's lobster & shrimp alfredo-mmmmmm!



... first time we've been together on his B'day since he turned 60 and we surprised him.  So amazing to finally arrive after a comedy of errors kept growing around my ill fated plane trip.  What was to be an easy flight from San Jose to LA and then, direct to Boston... became 3 different ill fated segments that turned into a night in Chicago, a loss of my scarf and gold survivor bracelet (28 years ago I bought it for myself after I survived moving to DC) and finally an almost on-time flight from Chicago to Boston yesterday; where Johnny & Shar picked me up on arrival.

Had breakfast/lunch with Jay, Holly, Arwin & Ethan today...  Cape Cod is all that and more...

I'm so thankful to be here surrounded by my beloved Shar and Johnny... I feel Tracy's spirit is prodding me; hoping he'll visit with me sometime soon...

Riley is well taken care of by Alan and I do hope the Christmas spirit is sunny and bright and surrounds each and everyone of you....


Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Today is Wednesday, December 17th

Hard to make decisions but I'm gonna have to soon.... Our rental is trashed... hired a cleaning service and they didn't do the complete job and seems like I'm going to have to handle all of this after I've had a change of scene.  Right now, every time I walk into the rental.. I picture my T being so happy about the work he'd done to rehab this Craftsmen 5 years ago.  I'll get it done but right now, I need a break...

Change of scene is good for all...

Riley with the biggest stick on the beach this morning

Our boy Riley

 T wrote on my white board before the BMT



 How do I love thee?  Let me count the ways....

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Today is Tuesday, December 16th

It's been awhile...  the holidays remind me of better times with T... I've been stuck in my grief and it's been hard to get past my longing for more time with him.... things I could have or should have said or done...  I am grateful for the time we shared and very thankful for my 'peeps'...

A change of scenery for Christmas will hopefully, push me out of this place.  Grief comes in waves and I'm learning to hang on... T would want me to learn to ride it....


Thursday, December 4, 2014

Today is Thursday, December 4th

Today is the 25th anniversary of my Dad's passing...  Doesn't seem possible but the world certainly has changed... I was living in DC and working for Apple... my 1st go round with Apple ... there were 2 subsequent episodes with Apple ... yes, I'm one of the retreads... and Daddy had been ill for a long time...  miss him but hopefully, he's up there getting to know T...

Fast forward to Thanksgiving week this year shared with Johnny & Shar and dear extended family...
Shar, Riley & Johnny relaxing
How do you like that?  Riley moved right in between J&S.  So, lots of memories rekindled... as I experienced the firsts... our Anniversary, Thanksgiving and family made it bearable...

Night before our 1st European trip together

So young
Dire dilemma with my nasty tenants and thank God they moved out unexpectedly on the 1st... they left me with a big decision to make after I resurrect the house they trashed... life truly is living with plan B.

Good news?  I'm evolving slowly, oh so slowly... but surely.... the new me that must learn to live without my T.

Sereno asked for memory football, cheerleader, twirler photos from our past for our Annual Celebration .... Ha!  couldn't find my cheerleader photo from Michael J. Whalen Junior High  BUT


That would be me.....