I can't even believe how long it's been since I last wrote a blog. Life has been exciting, terrifying, depressing, lovely, wistful, lonely and I guess, you might say 'normal'. I lost the love of my life almost 3 years ago and I've been working at finding my way back to 'happy' ever since. It's an uphill struggle at times but I'm told, grief is a spiral staircase.... each day I awake now, grateful to be alive and thankful for the beauty that surrounds me... and no matter what, missing my T. "you would've loved that" "oh, our song" " you would have been crazy mad about that" and on and on....
I realized this morning after reading an excerpt from Sheryl Sandberg's "Option B" that I had been depriving myself of a critical piece in my slog back from despair.... Writing is a part of who I am... worrying over punctuation and/or grammar is ridiculous compared with the ability to speak from my soul....and get it all out.
Feeling loss so deeply grounded in guilt and remorse isn't healthy for anyone altho' we probably all experience a bit of it. In the back of my mind, streams of 'you should have' .. 'why didn't you'...'perhaps'... mire my conscious mind and burden me enough to want escape. Oh, and there's a lot to escape to... streaming content on Netflix and Amazon Prime or any Michael Connelly or Lee Child book allows me to immerse and put my mind at ease....
Then, there's politics... I could rant and rave for hours about the fact that we're living in a country where there's no longer a right or wrong - you're either right or left and that shapes your view of all the shenanigans and the hooligans... that's where I miss T the most. He and I would have a lot to rant about and that's only part of it.
I should acknowledge that I've been thinking about slowing down my career too but just as tho' I were planning a vacation; here come lots of clients wanting my help.
Well, better get back to it... since I'm not going anywhere soon...
