Today is Wednesday, May 11th

Yesterday seemed like a dream... Tracy was silent except for the protest... his eyes said it all.  Unit after unit of blood and platelets as T lay motionless on the bed for hours.  His eyes closed and then, he slept.  I took a walk and got some cream of broccoli soup and returned to a snoring T.  T's hair is just about gone.  Some stragglers are hanging on but he's wearing his green beret (the one I made) to keep his head warm.  He chose his clothes for comfort today... it's so hard for him to get comfortable.  The good news is he's up to 212 lbs.  The bad: fluctuating temp.  So, at last, T was resting.  The infusions do that.  I turned on my iPod and put on head phones and started reading.  I was humming and singing when I knew the tune.  I suddenly realized T was awake and listening.  I asked if I could do anything for him, get him anything... he said just keep singing.... consciously picking songs that are meaningful to us... I tried, in between my tears... I've never been able to get through those songs that have deep emotional resonance for me without tears... just ask any of the couples whom I sang for at their weddings...guess I'm just not a performer.  The words always tear me up because I feel their meaning... loved James Durbin, American Idol's emotionality last week!

So, I played disc jockey and sang some and we got through the day and early evening.  T was transported to the ground E unit and reluctantly acquiesced.  I finally left about 7:30, had to rescue my car from the valet lot with security's help.  I spoke with him twice last evening and twice this morning.  I will pick him up at 2:00 today.  My car knows the way to Stanford.   Send strength and white light to surround us.... many more days to come.