Yesterday seemed like a dream... Tracy was silent except for the protest... his eyes said it all. Unit after unit of blood and platelets as T lay motionless on the bed for hours. His eyes closed and then, he slept. I took a walk and got some cream of broccoli soup and returned to a snoring T. T's hair is just about gone. Some stragglers are hanging on but he's wearing his green beret (the one I made) to keep his head warm. He chose his clothes for comfort today... it's so hard for him to get comfortable. The good news is he's up to 212 lbs. The bad: fluctuating temp. So, at last, T was resting. The infusions do that. I turned on my iPod and put on head phones and started reading. I was humming and singing when I knew the tune. I suddenly realized T was awake and listening. I asked if I could do anything for him, get him anything... he said just keep singing.... consciously picking songs that are meaningful to us... I tried, in between my tears... I've never been able to get through those songs that have deep emotional resonance for me without tears... just ask any of the couples whom I sang for at their weddings...guess I'm just not a performer. The words always tear me up because I feel their meaning... loved James Durbin, American Idol's emotionality last week!
So, I played disc jockey and sang some and we got through the day and early evening. T was transported to the ground E unit and reluctantly acquiesced. I finally left about 7:30, had to rescue my car from the valet lot with security's help. I spoke with him twice last evening and twice this morning. I will pick him up at 2:00 today. My car knows the way to Stanford. Send strength and white light to surround us.... many more days to come.