Today is Tuesday, May 3rd

I give myself permission to write or not.  My life is very full and I'm peddling as fast as I can.

Today I finally made it to my sales meeting... and caught up w/ my Realtor buddies.  Delivered a document to the Housing Authority and spoke with a tenant.  Finally got in touch with the Intero office for Brian's deal and was expecting a counter... but so far it's a no show.  There's always tomorrow... today was definitely a 'me' day... I drove back from the Housing Authority along W. Cliff Drive basking in the beauty of our coast... I'd been close to tears and I needed to feel the reinforcement of the reason we're here... it's amazing how sometimes fate or kizmet or whatever makes things fall into place in just the right order.  My body & mind were needing adjustment and luckily, I had an apt. with Cathy Sy and then, treated myself to a pedicure (first one in about 8 months) before my apt. with my GP for some medicinal attitude adjustment help.  Suzy prescribed a couple meds for me...   help to even out these emotions that are bubbling so close to the surface... not make me a zombie just help me deal with the crush I feel every time a new twist or turn overtakes me ... help to deal without feeling like I'm under attack...  of course Blue Shield needs special authorization so, hopefully, the help is just a day or so away.  Thankfully, Jan called and reminded me that WomenCare had their Cancer support group meeting this evening.  A chance to air what I'm feeling in a safe place without strings or endangering relationships by delving into the depths of my emotions... I'm blessed to have had this day.

All the while T was enduring a very long day at Stanford of blood and platelet infusions along with his chemo laced lumbar puncture.  He & Toni arrived home a few minutes before I did this evening.  Tracy seemed aware and stronger and wanting to talk.  He gave himself a Neupogen shot as they explained that he's very neutropenic again.  We need to get labs every other day and hopefully, Dr. Wu's office will accommodate.  After Toni explained the what & how;  T came behind me and put his arms around me and hugged me... OMG!  T's coming back....  tomorrow is another day...