Today started out with my thinking I had to be the momma bear again to protect the man I love. Our experience with hospitals hasn't all been as positive as Stanford. In Oct. of 1999, I learned what it meant to be an advocate for my man lost in the hospital system. So, I lingered over my coffee and cereal, planning what I thought had to be done for Tracy's experience at Dominican. I called Stanford and spoke with the Doctor on call. I learned that there hadn't been any collaboration with Stanford and I was worried. I wanted to be sure that T was being treated with 'kid gloves' and an eye towards keeping him on track for his continuing treatment. The poor guy had had non-stop diarrhea for a week now... his tummy hurt and he deserved better. So, I went to the hospital loaded for bear.
I arrived and T said that he'd just seen Dr. Deepa and the oncologist. They were still waiting for the very last results from the stool cultures for CDiff, the most virulent intestinal bug. They wanted to delay any Immodium or Mylanta or anti-diarrheal until they knew what they were dealing with. Makes perfect sense upon reflection, but I came in thinking that we'd lost valuable antibiotic treatment time in order to be ready for chemo...already delayed 2 weeks.
So, I walked into T's room ready to battle the world and instead, my loving hurting husband told me to slow down, relax and listen. Kind of like when we learned how to scuba dive... first thing we learned was "Stop, Look, Action"... OK, it was time to use that philosophy and T was right...I was so ready for battle, I neglected to ask T what he thought. This time around he was conscious and very much a part of the deal and man, I'm thankful for that. So, the T man said, "Hold it!!! Look. Listen." I took a look at his face and realized that he had color and he was calm and he was breathing better and his ankles weren't as swollen... still not as 'dainty or as shapely' as normal, but he was making progress. I wanted to scream but instead, I sat down and listened. My honey doesn't have CDiff and I thank God!!! His pneumonia is on the mend too. The antibiotics were not helping his poor tummy. Now hopefully, he'll heal and we'll get on to the next level... I'm so glad!!! He was given an anti- diarrheal, Mylanta and a Neupogen shot... full steam ahead!!!! Thank you all for all your love and support!!!! We're gonna get thru this!
I picture a time where we're sitting on a beach in the sun...relaxed, tan & laughing... with Riley by our side....