Today is Friday, November 5th

I'm torn.  I have this overwhelming responsibility. I take it very seriously.  T had a terrible night and after helping him initially; I finally fell asleep.  I missed the rest out of total exhaustion.  I'm wrestling with the idea that he needs to be in the cocoon of the hospital where if he has a bad nite; he will be tended to; cared for; medicated, given fluids; where a Doctor is on call 24/7.  I’m scared that I will do something or not do something that could endanger T.  I’m scared.  

OK  I’ve talked it over with Tracy.  He wants to be here at home and we can do this... organization is key.  Being aware and able to function quickly will make this situation work.  I’m working on a routine.  Strip the bed and add the towels to a wash first thing.  The coffee pot is loaded and waiting for the  start button to be depressed.  The juice (eliminated o.j yesterday... too acidic & tainted by assoc...heehee) his favorite, cranberry is always waiting.  Refill the water bottles and the pitcher constantly and last night, I made bread in the bread machine... (we were out and it’s simple and easy and no other hands touch it but mine)...  T insists on his cream cheese on the toast and OK; he gets it BUT we just eliminated that too.  Then, it’s simple meals that tend towards bland.  Any suggestions are welcome....

So, yesterday I toured all the new listings in Santa Cruz County with my friend and Realtor, Marilyn.  It was a respite away from the pressure and it did my soul good.  Afterwards, I met with my clients and we put together an offer on a gorgeous plot of land and a little farm house in Prunedale. 

 Food for my soul!

I missed our fund raising event of the year for the Housing Authority last evening...” A Taste of Santa Cruz”... I was torn between feeding my hubby and as a Director on the Board at our Association, helping at the event... Tracy won out.  When he’s stronger,  I’ll fulfill my responsibility as a board member as I have in the past and thankfully be happy to in the future... it’s the present I’m dealing with... and Tracy wins every time.