Wednesday, January 26th

It's Wed. about 6PM.  Tracy is still in the hospital and he's still running a temperature.  Last check was 102.3.  They're checking his temp every hour and we're applying cold compresses to his forehead and armpits.  He's had a brain MRI, catscan, chest x-ray, skin biopsy of his leg (the red spots reappeared on his legs that look similar to what he had when he contracted the virus 11 years ago)... you name it..he's had it.  They think he contracted an infection and I'm crazy with shoulda, coulda  regrets ...hindsight says T was entirely too casual after being battered by chemo... kissing, hugging is a part of my T but he probably pushed it too far.

Right now he's laying on the bed with all his covers off and he's talking back to the PBS news hour, while a cold wet facecloth graces his brow.  Me, I'm writing my blog cause I've been scolded that I didn't update it last night... sorry, I had all I could handle last night by listening to the President's State of Union, eating my lunch sandwich, stripping the bed, washing clothes and finally closing my eyes with the help of a sleep aide (after a largely sleepless night the night before). 

I'm worried that my poor hubby has been fighting something for going on 48 hours with no relief in sight.  Tracy keeps telling me to have patience... anyone who knows me, knows patience doesn't come easy to me.  I will try but I'm frustrated... before I came to the hospital today; I tried to synch T's iPod and all I managed to do was get a message "Do Not Disconnect" even when it recharged.  So, it's stuck and I'm gonna have to figure out how to clear it so, T can have his music.... not so easy for me, that's T's expertise...  Oh well... I also tried scanning some documents for the Boulder Creek duplex and couldn't get them emailed.  I finally gave up... once again, that's T's expertise... I'm lost without my honey and Riley is very sad too.

Dr. Alexander just returned my call.  He says they're doing everything they can and as the data comes in, they'll adjust.  He asked if we wanted to transport T to Stanford and we both said no.  He also said that this kind of reaction comes with the territory.  "chemo is some nasty stuff and has terrible consequences".  He explained the measured steps they've taken and at my request, said he would contact Bruno just to let him know what's going on.  I feel better that they're on this and he reassured me that he's working on it...deep breath...

So, please send white light to surround and heal Tracy and bring his temperature down.

I'm gonna sign off so, I can hand wipe my baby off... no shower tonight since he can't get the biopsy wet.  Every time you think of us, please send healing white light to surround Tracy.