Monday, January 24th

We started out slowly this morning... teasing each other and Riley...plotting how we could spend the day in bed.  In a moment, everything changed.  T was sick to his stomach & getting rid of it gave him no relief... he ached everywhere, legs and arms and even his head and then the sweats began and his temperature started rising so, I called Stanford.  The triage nurse, Barb, advised no Tylenol & that at 100.5 to go immediately to the emergency room at Dominican.  The concern was that after all the chemo, T couldn't fight worth a damn. As I hovered over my love, worried out of my mind, I took T's temperature every 20-30 min.  At one point I actually started shaking the digital thermometer.. when I realized what I was doing, T & I both giggled and T's comment was "are you sure you're not blond?"  Duh... digital thermometer, no mercury to shake down.... so, poking fun while monitoring T's temp thru out the day...coaxing T to drink a wee bit of broth... he seemed to plateau back to almost normal temp but he was sweating through everything over and over - 5-6 times.  Since he wouldn't eat, "everything smelled funny & I don't wanna" teasing & cajoling him just to drink,  an idea popped into my head (I'm Italian, I can't help myself.  Food is always the answer)... my annie banany bars...T can't resist them.  So as I headed downstairs to make them magically appear, T quipped "yah sure, abandoning me up here" and we both chuckled... 45 min. later I headed up with his favorite healthy treat and he nibbled a bit.... Then, early evening with nothing to fuel the fight, T's temp started to rise gradually.  Constantly coaxing him to sip gatorade, water, protein drinks anything to hydrate him, changing his shirt and pants... we both settled in.  T refused to go to the hospital so, I kept monitoring his temp every couple hours until my worst fears were realized.  About 12:15AM,  I was finally scribing this blog when T jumped out of bed and ran to empty his guts.  Terrible News! Terrible Temp  103.5  OMG!!!!    I rechecked with the ear thermometer ... 103.7 WTF!!!!  No fight left, he gave in ... At 1:00AM bundling him up we raced to the emergency room...  now as a true lapsed Catholic, my guilty conscience says I could have done more and double guessing myself;  I should have driven him to Stanford but faced with the fear of the wickedly spiked temp all I could think was HELP!!!

It took awhile to mobilize an effort... actually, it probably only took about a half hour to get their attention and get him into a room so, they could make sure that we weren't old drunks off our rockers or homeless and indigent; they pretty quickly recognized our dire straits.  I stupidly repeated what Barb, the Stanford nurse had said "no tylenol" so, it took some convincing to get some relief for my T.  The difference in this hospital is that I must remind people to close his door and I'm constantly watching to make sure they wash their hands as they enter. I feel like a sentry on guard duty.  Most don't understand neutrapenic or the implications of immune compromised.  After all the blood draws, the EKG, X-ray, my baby was exhausted.  The decision was made by the on call oncologist to admit T.  By now T was shivering, so I climbed into bed and we spooned, hoping my body warmth would warm him.  We fell into fitful sleep about 4:00 while they constantly monitored him, awaiting his rescue.  Around 6 AM they transported him up to a room.  I kept asking for things for him... water, blankets, help... finally an RN nurturer, Teresa, began taking care of him... Dr. Michael Alexander appeared and examined him and caught up with us, even sharing the highlights of Bobby Hutcherson's Kuumbwa show last evening...  what a different way to pass an evening... can't wait to go back there again...

T has been moved to a gorgeous private room where he's been given blood, 2 antibiotics, oxycotin for the pain, tylenol, anti-nauseal, potassium, platelets to come and God knows what else... his temp is still holding at 102.7- 103.  It's 11:55AM and I'm worried but I know they're doing all they can, altho' they only had one infusion of blood available.  I've asked them to try elsewhere, blood bank?  Red Cross?  Michael says it's OK to get the second blood transfusion tomorrow.  OK deep breath...

Poor Riley didn't know what was going on with his daddy but a phone call to Allan this morning and he's taken care of.  Thank God!!!   Lorraine will pick me up around 1:00.  I need to get some food in me and probably a bag for T... he's sweating again.... send some white light please?!!!