It was a long day at Stanford...Tracy's counts were a little down but he's doing well over all!!! I felt anxious and excited and fearful as the first Doctor arrived in clinic, Dr. Wen-Jen. We hadn't seen her in 8-9 months and she remarked on how well T looked. T can now have his teeth cleaned; not a deep cleanse but at least a surface cleaning. A little thing to most of us; but a big thing to welcome T back to the land of the living.... when Bruno arrived we were ready for him. T will remain on one IV Vincristine for at least this month & next, plus Dexamethasone & the Methotrexate as he's doing well on this protocol. No need to disrupt the status quo over the holidays and I am so sincerely thankful on this the eve of our 16th wedding anniversary...
I look back and realize we've come a very long way. We're still discovering things about each other as we continue to grow. Yesterday, after my sales meeting; we played with clay. T was so caring as I worked at sculpting his Virgo figure. I have a lot of work to do on the piece but I at least have the basics done. T worked on a face... a beautiful face and it was amazing to work side by side creating something out of clay.... I love the feel of the clay in my hands as I shape and pull and work at it. It was a different mix of artists, the Tuesday group, and astounding to absorb what they do. Each time we learn a little more about each person and their art and Tuesday's group is very unique. Looks like when we can't make it on Wed., we'll be able to play with clay on Tues. and that's a very good thing. Oscar & Riley were fired last evening (sounds so ominous)... can't wait to see how they came out!
16 years ago, the 23rd of Nov. fell on Thanksgiving. I was very excited and hardly able to contain myself as it was the eve of our wedding. Johnny & Shar had arrived safely and we shared a delicious Thanksgiving dinner at Jayne & Andre's home. Mom blessed us and we were ready. It was a warm, brilliantly sunny day and our roses were in full bloom. The limo arrived to carry Mom, Shar & I from our home in Los Gatos to the Shadowbrook and as we crested the hill, I saw my life unfolding... full with the warmth of being loved and surrounded by our loving family & friends. I'd waited all my life for the love of my life, Tracy. ... now we were to become man & woman joined in love.... true partners and head over heels .... Our future was so bright and our path had begun...
Every day since his death, I'd worn a large gold crucifix on a leather chain that I'd gotten for Cenz while we were in Italy. I loved it and since Cenz had always worn it, I'd felt him close. On this my wedding day, I'd worn it as usual and when I began to change in our private lounge; I removed it and never saw it again. I panicked & Mary Lou, the wedding planner, had the sink drain taken apart and we looked everywhere but I never saw it again. My intention was to put it in my bustier to have Cenz close, but he had decided to take it back and release me into Tracy's arms forever more. I know it's strange but how else would you explain the disappearance of his crucifix? We, Shar, Mom & I were the only ones in the lounge and yet, the crucifix was gone.... Mom calmed me down and the rest of the day unfolded slowly and beautifully.... into a day to remember forever with a sunset walk on the beach
 |
| T & A 11.24.95 |
No comments:
Post a Comment