Today is Wednesday, December 4th

Aching heart... twenty four years ago today Daddy passed away... awoke this morning feeling very sad and stomach sick... so I decided to give myself a day off... been meaning to just vege and it hasn't happened.  So today, I tackled my Quicken issues and with the help of Kirk Reid, phenomenal tech support!  I was able to get back into it and take care of finances.  Phew!

Tracy had a very bad night BUT the good news is he was going to go to the holiday ballet in the Stanford Atrium today and his paperwork has gone to Penn.  OMG!  Tears of joy!  I'm taking deep breaths and I hope you'll all send good intentions to Penn too and surround our boy with white light.

So, Daddy was ill and in hospice for about a week when he passed away.  His body had just given up.  He had been ill for a very long time.  I had moved back to the east coast, DC to be closer to my elderly folks (a 6 hr. drive up 95 in my BMW, a puddle jumper to New Haven or a relaxing train ride)  I was HR for the Apple Federal Systems Group & Govt. Affairs.  I felt very torn and unable to grieve ... death is complicated .. I was almost relieved because his caregiver, my Mom, was failing under his pressing needs.  How do you deal with that?  I tried to get back to work in a week... that's what corp. America deems plausible and several years later it hit me like a ton of bricks.  My advice:  take the time to grieve...   So, like a lot of folks, Dad & Mom had waited for WW2 to end to marry.  They were older when they had we 3 kids so, just when I was mature enough to have a relationship... they were gone.

Now, I'm almost jealous of my peers who still have their parents in their lives... but I was lucky to have them for as long as I did.  Rest in peace...Daddy.

Carpe diem