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Concerned Citizen and a Serial Entrepreneur wrapped in a progressive democratic soul longing for us all to get along.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Today is Sunday, December 4th

Twenty two years ago today, we lost Daddy to a prolonged illness.  I was working for Apple, living in DC at the time and altho' I hopped on a puddle jumper;  I didn't make it home in time to say good bye.  Daddy had been in a beautiful hospice facility in Branford, Ct. for about a week.  I had gone home to Ct. for Thanksgiving and seen that Daddy's care was about to kill my Mom.  She wasn't able to sleep at all & was running ragged because of Daddy's needs.  She was exhausted & becoming frail.  I called their Doctor and insisted that she needed relief and Daddy was ultimately transported to hospice.  He was 78, not really cognizant of his circumstances any longer.  His body had been just plain wearing out but he died of an aneurism.

Dad & Mom were married 44 years and together as a couple 49 years.  They waited until the Second World War was over to marry on November 26th, 1945.
Mom & Dad 11.26.45

  Mom was 33 when Johnny was born, 36 when I was born and 37.5 when Cenz arrived.   Daddy was two years older than Mom.  So, they played catch up as they started a family with 3 kids in 5 years.  All of Mom's 4 siblings did the same so, there were always lots of cousins around and family gatherings were huge and full of fun, food and music.  Grandpa Saggio played the mandolin, the guitar and a 'squeeze box' and we all sang.... Mom's twin, Aunt Etta, had twin boys, Paul & Vinny (Johnny's age) and Bobby was my age.  So, I loved and was always comfortable being surrounded by boys.  As children we spent our summers together on the West Haven shore of Long Island sound.

At 16, Uncle Johnny taught me how to drive an automatic on his big Oldsmobile 66.  He was patient and easy and I learned in the parking lot of Eli Whitney school.  I started to learn to drive a stick on Johnny's gorgeous white MGA with red interior; poor Johnny.  I was 16, he was 18 and we were Italian hot heads... I know I ground those gears mercilessly in order to learn that delicate balance.  I remember being stuck on a little hill near our house... I couldn't get the clutch and the gas to balance so, I could stop on the hill & we screamed at each other until I jumped out of the car and walked home.  What Johnny & I learned was that I needed to take standard driving lessons on someone else's car, so I did...  I loved my Johnny but we butted heads a lot growing up as most kids do.  He was just old enough to be too cool to hang with a kid sister.   When I graduated from high school and bought my dream car, my '64
Summer '67

British racing green with yellow racing striped TR4, my cousins taught me how to tune it up.  They were car guys.  Paul had a Morgan and Vinny had an XKE ( or vice versa, after all they were identical twins).  I had convinced my parents that I was responsible enough to handle all the expenses; found an insurance co. to insure my car as a compact car (if my family switched over too, ai yi yi ) and never mind that Johnny had crashed his MGA, since no one had been injured.  Daddy was putty in my unrelenting hands.... anyway, I was Daddy's girl.  I learned to love football and baseball 'cause that meant I would spend time with Daddy.  As a child when I went to my monthly orthodontist visits to adjust my retainer, Daddy always took me and we'd go to Hasselbach's, the old fashioned New Haven ice cream parlor, for a hot fudge sundae.  I also loved to go with Daddy to watch him play tennis at the Yale courts on Sat. mornings.  Those were special times for me and what I choose to remember as I reflect on  my Dad....for he was conflicted, plagued by a chemical imbalance which was never properly diagnosed as what we call bipolar today.  What a waste... but when he was functioning he had a tenor voice that was astounding, a love for education and big embracing arms that made me feel so safe and warm... I loved being with him and I miss the essence of him so.  I think he & T would have gotten along well after they sniffed each other out... I wish they would have known each other.

Wow... didn't expect to write about any of that...  interesting how our minds work.  I awoke from a deep sleep and knew I needed to write....  Jim, I wanted to use the word penultimate but all I can think of next is sleep...which is elusive...

Tracy was so good Friday... he was energetic and happy.  Did I jinx him?  I remarked that he was doing so well even at his nadir.  It seemed within a few hours... he was feeling really punky... aching and queasy.  So after a restless night, he spent Sat. morning in bed and basically, rested most of the day.  I came home from my open house, wanting to make a cream of broccoli soup but I realized that would have been for me.  T needed something much more bland so, in went the chicken pot pie - his choice.... a long way from an Italian dinner shared with Gary & Deanna in Saratoga which we reluctantly canceled.   An early evening, and here I am awake in the middle of the night.  Oh well... life is good.  T is here. Have a laugh... I just found this photo...

Hamden High Twirler
Keep sending the white light to surround our T, please.

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