Today is Monday, October 20th, 2014

The other shoe dropped... Autopsy results today... the cure killed our T.  As suspected results concluded... no leukemia in his system when our T breathed his last breath, but his liver failed due to clinical trial INOTUSAMAB plus all the fucking chemo damage to his liver... warned of the side effect;  T made the decision, the only decision to hope for life... it was 50/50 that the bone marrow transplant would be the answer and now we live with the down side of the 50/50...

I'm beside myself with the loss of my love... today I set the record straight... the 'social worker' Joanne Asano was there occupying a seat and the BMT leader Andrew Razvani related the results. Andrew was the compassionate leader who spoke with our T and listened when T said he was soo tired of hurting... and finally, T accepted morphine to ease the pain.

I finally had a chance to tell the patient's side of all of this... I must say it felt good to express my dissatisfaction with certain aspects of our treatment - the social workers 'help', the cancellation of liver biopsy due to liver cirrhosis and then, ultimately, gratitude for the love and support of nurses and physicians assistants care.  I had the opportunity to clear the slate.  I need to write a letter to Stanford now, too... it's important and T would expect no less.

Weird thing... I spoke with Stanford and Blue Shield today re a bill I was sent for several hundred $$ way after our deductible had been met and Tracy was actually in the hospital.  BS contended that the CT scan and radiologist were out of network providers as I questioned their sanity.  I then called Stanford back.  They wanted a copy of the death certificate... WTF???  I replied that T died in the hospital and did they realize I lost my husband?  I told them they could pound sand before I paid this bill and that after a $26K premium which included an $8K deductible they'd been paid all they would get out of this stone.

And then, this evening I received a text telling me that my business credit card had been compromised.

I was ready for home and my Riley.... rest now...  I need to heal...