Wonderful metaphor presented by one of the survivors (that's how I think of we, the widows ) today.... she thinks of us as in the chrysalis stage before we become butterflies... beautiful metaphor of who I am right now, or hope to become...
I've been stuck in a stage - guilt & anger and they overpower me at times... guilt because perhaps I could have handled things differently and after all, I was raised as a Roman Catholic 2nd generation full blooded Italian American, middle child of three and only girl... learned from the best... anger because I'm left to deal with stuff that was Tracy's life's work and I just don't get it and hate the role I've had to assume. I was the business, finance, social manager.... left the care and feeding of our home and rentals to Tracy's loving care. Ruben is doing things at the rental and I'm hoping... hoping that it will all work out.
Hard to express my feelings but the support group assures me... I'm not a lone pony. Slowly, I'm evolving but it's 2 steps forward and then, one awfully sad step back... one step at a time... tears at the ready... Riley, now my main man, trying very hard not to disappoint...
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