It's raining and I'm giving myself the day off... other than meeting with an eviction attorney at 3PM in Watsonville. Tracy's place is surrounded by lit candles and Riley has joined me in bed.
I am finally at peace with a major decision... it's time for Tracy's Memorial...A Celebration of T's Life. I'm going to put a list of folks together and we're formulating ideas with Deb, Diane, Jayne & Carla, Deanna, but it's gonna be the Sunday after Thanksgiving, the 30th. I know that I may miss some folks cause they'll be out of town but Thanksgiving was and is a significant time for T & I. 19 years ago we were married the day after Thanksgiving (planned that one in 6 weeks) and we celebrated Mom's birthday that weekend too ( our last together )... I feel like we all need an opportunity to express the joy of T's life and I hope if folks aren't able to make it; perhaps they'll send photos, best wishes and/or contribute to the fight against cancer by joining our Race for Trace team... click the link below to access our team page.
I know it's short notice but somehow this works for my peace of mind right now... a very necessary step for me... I know I'll never be without Tracy in my heart but I also realize he's not coming home... sounds crazy but there were times in the last 4 years when T would be in the hospital for 4 weeks or more... I'd speak with him every day and see him frequently in those times but I always knew he'd come home. Now I have to acknowledge he's not ever going to come home.. in a public way.. to honor him and close this chapter... I can't move forward without this homage.
I'll always love T and always have him in my heart... he was my co-pilot in life and I feel him helping me see the road forward... love you all and thank you for your support.
There is nothing so constant as change... and this life is all about living with Plan B....