Today is Thursday, July 31st

I don't know how to thank you all for your love and support... except to say thank you so very much!!!  Today was filled with conflicting emotions... apprehension, fear, love and gratitude.  I'm very nervous about what the days ahead hold for our T.  The news today was that T's numbers were going down and that it had been determined by the ultrasound that T has cirrhosis in his liver.  I wasn't expecting that, wasn't prepared and taken by surprise that the biopsy was cancelled.

Carla & Gary suited up and joined T & I to wait for the biopsy... Gar was making us laugh when we were joined by the transplant team... they proceeded to say T's liver was cirrhotic and I asked if it was reparable... I got 1 yes and eyes that were unsure....  I was so stunned about the cancellation... dumbfounded...  tomorrow I'll seek more clarity...

Please keep the prayers coming... we need to figure out what comes next...

Today is Wednesday, July 30th

Happy Birthday my sister, Sharon!!!  I thank God for you in our lives... our family would not have survived all of the trauma without you...  I hope you take some time to enjoy your day!!

OK...very long day.. I've lost interest in everything other than my quest for answers... I finally spoke to the transplant team today.  I questioned everything and everyone and then, asked to speak to the attending outside T's presence.  I asked the hard ? What are we facing?  The worst would be renal failure... the best:  temporary issues with the kidneys and liver (since they work together)  exacerbated by all the chemo.  That's why we need your prayers, white healing light and positive thinking to get through this.  Tomorrow is the day for the liver biopsy...

I fell apart today before I hit T's space early this morning.  Then, seeing my man have so much courage in the face of all of this after all he's been through... I had no choice but to rally.  I AM THE ADVOCATE!!!   I am T's WARRIOR!!!  I promise all that I am and I will hold the powers to be to be their best...and your friendship and support to get us through...

Today is Tuesday, July 29th

Spent the entire day with our T except when they took him away for an ultrasound of his stomach and neck veins... OK I'm not the only one who's worried.  I just missed the transplant team this morning but we were visited by liver specialists and kidney specialists... all trying to figure out why he's so engorged....

Got him up and bathed first thing this morning and started reading the third part of Reversal.... visited with his wonderful nurse, Maureen- who gave T his shamrock mask covers so many years ago... Maureen is retiring on Fri.... we're gonna miss her.

So, the latest T will have a liver biopsy asap... but that's probably gonna be Thurs.  Because of T's fragile condition, they will enter thru a neck vein and go down to the liver to obtain tissue... this apparently, is the least invasive and has the least threat of infection.  I cross examined the doctor who came into explain the procedure... turns out he's not performing the procedure and I'm glad cause he's only done 10-20.  We want the Varsity team.  When the 3 specialists entered the room; I suggested that the liver doctor should probably put on some gloves and T smiled and said "you don't let anyone get away with anything, do you?" my reply " I'm a mama bear when it comes to you"...  when all 3 doctors left to confer after they'd examined T and cross-examined him;  I asked T if he thought it was a prerequisite for kidney doctors to be well over 6' tall... cause they were...

I'm sorry that they couldn't do the biopsy immediately... the OR is booked solid and T has to have blood and platelets prior to the procedure.  I'll have to keep us occupied until Thurs... looking for the next Connelly - Harry Bosch book...

Thank you all for your prayers and white light streaming... we need it!!!

Today is Monday, July 28th

Today was a tough one.  I spent the day showing homes in Rio Del Mar and Seascape to 2 different clients and finally got to Stanford about 4:00.  I wasn't pleased with the way T looked.  He's got peticcia?sp. around his eyes and he's very logy due to all the water weight he's carrying.   In my opinion, he's been slowly going downhill since Friday.  He's maintaining a good attitude and he's a little more alert - he's loving the Michael Donnelly book that I've been reading to him and he's now trying to cast Harry Bosch... but he's now severely neutrapenic and very edemic.  He's trying to maintain a good attitude but he's basically zoning out most of the time.   We were walking Fri. & Sat. Sun. I was helping him swing his legs off the bed so he could get up and today he's not even doing that.

I'm very worried.  I asked to see the doctor and physician asst. came by about 6:00.  She explained that T was now manufacturing the 2nd round of cells since the transplant and was experiencing a low point - not unexpected but indeed serious.  They had introduced albumin today to try and help the water retention and help the liver and kidneys.  The protein would help the liver and kidneys to process the intake and not allow so much water to escape and flood his system.  T received his 2nd Neupogen shot tonight.  Yesterday's did nothing.

Please, we need your prayers and that white healing streaming light to surround our Tracy.  He needs all the help he can get right now.

I'll go to the hospital early tomorrow.  I need to speak with the transplant team.  I'm needing more reassurance and lots more info.  I'll update as soon as I have more info.

Thank you for your love and support... it will get us through this...

#3

OK OK OK  Jayne just sent 3 pics from my b'day dinner with Jayne, Deb, Gar, Deanna & Gary

All quiet on the western front

Today au Deux

How could I forget?  Yesterday T was given the ok to start diluted liquids- 500cc daily-  means he sips 200cc of Ensure Clear with equal amount of water at a time - he savors the taste and sips very slowly.

Road to health is littered with lots of fumbles... but he's still climbing the path...

Today is Saturday, July 26th

Life keeps rolling along. I'm debating whether I can make 6.3 mi. & do the Wharf to Wharf tomorrow. Haven't been walking even close to that since I moved to PA. Sometimes I feel like I've moved to outer space. I miss having a regular routine, and seeing folks. Everything feels out of order.  I think I've become a control freak because I can't control anything.  I'd like something to settle out.   I'd like Tracy to come home.   

Bought a parking pass yesterday... make it easier to break up the day - in & out privileges and don't have to constantly search for cash... 4-5 hours at a time in the hospital is hard... altho' yesterday T & I walked twice; in addition his aide walked him before I got there.  I'm reading Jim's copy of Michael Connelly's "The Reversal" to T.  I read it already and knew T would love it.  

T just called new room #FGround 077A - 650.498.3037 - we're casting the characters for the movie - T said the bad guy, Jason Jessup, should be played by Robert Duvall... T's imagination is engaged... ha!  poor guy has been bored stiff... he watched the Giants lose to the Dodgers last night... 

OK... short but sweet... I'm looking forward...