Today is Friday, January 29th

I've been a little more crazy than usual lately 'cause per normal, I left the 60 hours of study for my Real Estate license to the last minute....ahhhh ... finally tested out Wed. morning just before I had to head out for our office meeting and training.  Surrendered the completion certificate, credit card etc to my office manager and she took care of the state registration.  YAHOO!!!! Done for another 4 years.... Could have been enjoyable if the text hadn't been written by a non-native English speaker....
The woes of 21st century outsourcing...

Anyway I am truly evolving... I am actually using my brain and logic to make decisions... interesting that I can see that.  More decisions near term to make such as renew the lease for the rentals or sell?  I think we're approaching a critical time in the market.  China's woes etc. are affecting the technology sector which is a huge influence on our real estate world.  So... I'm gonna inspect both houses on Sunday and either give notice or continue renting them for another year.  The lease on 105 expires 4/1 so, I'll have to give 60 days notice....

I've been repairing and redoing all sorts of things on my home.  Electrician was here this morning to replace the motion detector out front.  Oh what a great feeling that is.... had the house treated last month for termites and framed the door for the martini deck.... put screens on all the copper drainpipes after the gutters were cleaned out .... replaced the weather stripping on several doors....and on and on....  I can finally say I'm truly grateful for my home and once again acknowledge and take responsibility for my guardianship....

I closed my last deal for 2015 on 12/23.  I've been very lucky and been referred another wonderful client and met a new client on Wed. at a Rio del Mar gathering who will become a friend... and she loves to dance!!!!  Salsa dancing here we come!

Riley is really starting to show his age.... that's the hard part...  tuning in to his needs and trying to keep him happy.... the walk down to the beach is getting harder but he loves it when we arrive...  the puppy rejoices...and so do I...

and then there's my T.... last night, Alan told me that T had told him, " he was in the fight for his life  and he was losing".... oh dear God...

Carpe diem my friends!!!!

Today is Tuesday, January 5th 2016

Wow!  Do you believe it?  I'm really amazed... I'm still here and actually looking forward.

Against all my hopes for accomplishments before the start of the new year;  I am now struggling to take the 45 hours plus an entirely new set of management courses to renew my Real Estate license for the 3rd and probably last time and oh by the way - must be done by 1/30/16.  12 years in the biz and counting and realizing I've landed on my feet yet again.... as all the fees associated with having a license have escalated continually.... and my quarterly taxes loom.  Oh the joy of being self employed and motivated and successful at a profession that I enjoy.

Interesting holiday celebrations as I've reflected on years past spent with my honey.  I've resolved to push myself forward to go out and participate;  even tho'  the party girl would rather stay home with my Ry most days and weeks on end and study my navel.

Went into Tracy's Place yesterday with a very strong glue to attempt to fix my crab sculpture.  I'm working on it.  Phew!  I miss him there most of all.  He would have been churning out pieces and someday soon I will too; surrounded by his genius and his faith in me.

Also, spent some time clearing and cleaning T's work space in the garage after getting the weather stripping replaced and the martini door framed and on and on.  Tomorrow,  I'll attempt to do lots more on my classes but my breaks will be spent taking down the Christmas decorations.  It's tough to see them go... spent so much time putting them out and it really brightened my home and gave me some holiday cheer.... so much nostalgia in ornaments chosen with love....

New Year's eve was a true triumph over melancholy.  My Ca. family joined me to eat, drink and play games to usher in the new year.  Thank you all for your love and support as I evolve....

Today is Wednesday, December 23rd

Phew!!!  What a year!  I'm very grateful to be here now... Amazing the changes and revelations of the last year... Saturday,  realized after refusing yet another invitation and looking deep within... the never ending questions... why not me and why Tracy?  Survivor guilt has plagued me.  Now I'll be more conscious.  T would be pissed at me... joy is needed now... no more of this... cause after all, at some point; they'll stop asking...

Went to the Santa Cruz Peace church last night and experienced the Messiah sing along.... wow!!!  Thank you my friends!

Riley is here with me as I listen to Barbara in the home my T designed and built and we made our own.  Taking responsibility and taking care of all those nagging details to preserve it.  Termites? Treated and gone... Lights?  Figured out and back on...  The hardest part of dealing with any home is figuring out what the problem is and then, figuring out what the fix is....Tracy could do it all - seamlessly, now I'm finally trusting myself to get it done with lots of help from the experts.

The one party I didn't miss - our Sereno Group annual party on the 11th:

Scene of the crime- San Jose

Overview

Vicki, Diana, me, Erin's son, Erin, Barbara Cole- COO Extraordinaire upon arrival

Joe Clark, Vick, Kim, Marilyn 

A good time was had by all..... Merry Christmas one and all!!!!

Today is Tuesday, December 8th

As we careen towards two of my most favorite holidays, I am grateful that I've survived and thrived this year.  Lots to be grateful for!  I'm here, breathing with my beloved Ry of 15 and almost 3 months.  I've counted on family and friends to guide and support me through this last 14 plus months since Tracy passed.  Spent a lot of time gazing at my navel but through all the tears and joy; I know in the deepest part of my soul that Tracy will always be in my heart.  I'm sooo lucky to have had him in my life and I will always cherish my memories.

This I know:   It wasn't a perfect union but we had a deep and abiding love that allowed us both to grow and prosper and become a force to be reckoned with.  We challenged ourselves and all those around us to be the best of ourselves.  I have become more compassionate and interestingly enough, less tolerant...  "don't sweat the small stuff" one of T's rejoinders...

2015 was a very tough year because the blinders and the numbness have worn off... he's really and truly gone.  2016 looms large and I'm going to embrace it and welcome the next transition.... whatever that entails....

We are what we believe !!!

Today is Saturday, November 28th

Well, I survived this week peacefully.... that is to say, I feel peaceful.

Tuesday, November 24th would have been our 20th Anniversary and I marked it by walking to the beach with Riley and spending most of the day looking through our wedding album and watching our video ( courtesy of Di ) and finished at my Community Sing group in Capitola...

Here are a few of my favorite photos culled from my iPhone, album etc...

Kauai Sept. 2013

December 2013

Christmas Day 2013

Jan. 2014

Hard at work in his studio

After a storm 2014

So cute

That's all she wrote today......

Today is Wed. November 11th

Time keeps screaming by as I feel more and more overwhelmed.  So much to do and to take care of and figure out and there's always Mr. R wanting to go for a walk...

First here's 2 photos from my Norma Desmond Halloween weekend:

Gar & I

Jayne, Lou & I

What a gas!!!

"I'm ready for my close up, Mr. DeVille"















Lots of ups and downs over the last few weeks but I keep on trucking....

Started Zumba since I ate my way thru Europe and I'm trying to lose this extra fluff....

More later...

Today is Halloween

OMG!  So many wonderful memories!!!  Tracy and I met on Halloween 22 years ago... and we loved morphing into different characters throughout our time together.

Re-enacting Tina & Popeye

The year T & I met - Lea, me, Di, Jayne 1993

Did a bit of gender bending- can't find pics of T as Oscar the Grouch and me as Mr. Rogers or Tracy as the Tin Man and me as Scarecrow or  me as Harpo Marx and I can't recall what T was.  Lots more fun was had by all...  We'd start at the Goodwill store and 1 acquisition would start T's creative juices flowing...

Hopefully, more current photos tomorrow... I think I can truly rejoice in these wonderful memories...