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Concerned Citizen and a Serial Entrepreneur wrapped in a progressive democratic soul longing for us all to get along.

Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Today is Wednesday, December 23rd

Phew!!!  What a year!  I'm very grateful to be here now... Amazing the changes and revelations of the last year... Saturday,  realized after refusing yet another invitation and looking deep within... the never ending questions... why not me and why Tracy?  Survivor guilt has plagued me.  Now I'll be more conscious.  T would be pissed at me... joy is needed now... no more of this... cause after all, at some point; they'll stop asking...

Went to the Santa Cruz Peace church last night and experienced the Messiah sing along.... wow!!!  Thank you my friends!

Riley is here with me as I listen to Barbara in the home my T designed and built and we made our own.  Taking responsibility and taking care of all those nagging details to preserve it.  Termites? Treated and gone... Lights?  Figured out and back on...  The hardest part of dealing with any home is figuring out what the problem is and then, figuring out what the fix is....Tracy could do it all - seamlessly, now I'm finally trusting myself to get it done with lots of help from the experts.

The one party I didn't miss - our Sereno Group annual party on the 11th:
Scene of the crime- San Jose

Overview

Vicki, Diana, me, Erin's son, Erin, Barbara Cole- COO Extraordinaire upon arrival

Joe Clark, Vick, Kim, Marilyn 

A good time was had by all..... Merry Christmas one and all!!!!






Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Today is Tuesday, December 8th

As we careen towards two of my most favorite holidays, I am grateful that I've survived and thrived this year.  Lots to be grateful for!  I'm here, breathing with my beloved Ry of 15 and almost 3 months.  I've counted on family and friends to guide and support me through this last 14 plus months since Tracy passed.  Spent a lot of time gazing at my navel but through all the tears and joy; I know in the deepest part of my soul that Tracy will always be in my heart.  I'm sooo lucky to have had him in my life and I will always cherish my memories.

This I know:   It wasn't a perfect union but we had a deep and abiding love that allowed us both to grow and prosper and become a force to be reckoned with.  We challenged ourselves and all those around us to be the best of ourselves.  I have become more compassionate and interestingly enough, less tolerant...  "don't sweat the small stuff" one of T's rejoinders...

2015 was a very tough year because the blinders and the numbness have worn off... he's really and truly gone.  2016 looms large and I'm going to embrace it and welcome the next transition.... whatever that entails....

We are what we believe !!!

Saturday, November 28, 2015

Today is Saturday, November 28th

Well, I survived this week peacefully.... that is to say, I feel peaceful.

Tuesday, November 24th would have been our 20th Anniversary and I marked it by walking to the beach with Riley and spending most of the day looking through our wedding album and watching our video ( courtesy of Di ) and finished at my Community Sing group in Capitola...

Here are a few of my favorite photos culled from my iPhone, album etc...


Kauai Sept. 2013


December 2013

Christmas Day 2013

Jan. 2014

Hard at work in his studio

After a storm 2014

So cute




That's all she wrote today......

Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Today is Wed. November 11th

Time keeps screaming by as I feel more and more overwhelmed.  So much to do and to take care of and figure out and there's always Mr. R wanting to go for a walk...

First here's 2 photos from my Norma Desmond Halloween weekend:

Gar & I

Jayne, Lou & I
What a gas!!!

"I'm ready for my close up, Mr. DeVille"















Lots of ups and downs over the last few weeks but I keep on trucking....

Started Zumba since I ate my way thru Europe and I'm trying to lose this extra fluff....

More later...

Saturday, October 31, 2015

Today is Halloween

OMG!  So many wonderful memories!!!  Tracy and I met on Halloween 22 years ago... and we loved morphing into different characters throughout our time together.

Re-enacting Tina & Popeye

The year T & I met - Lea, me, Di, Jayne 1993





Did a bit of gender bending- can't find pics of T as Oscar the Grouch and me as Mr. Rogers or Tracy as the Tin Man and me as Scarecrow or  me as Harpo Marx and I can't recall what T was.  Lots more fun was had by all...  We'd start at the Goodwill store and 1 acquisition would start T's creative juices flowing...

Hopefully, more current photos tomorrow... I think I can truly rejoice in these wonderful memories...


Thursday, October 29, 2015

Today is Thursday, October 29th

The 2nd year is much harder than the first.... true acceptance that T is NOT coming back and that I'm alone.  No one to call with that little thing that happened today or to commiserate over the elections or to be joyous about anything at all...  Most friends and family expect that I'm 'over it'.  That's just not the truth...  I miss him every day... I even miss the annoying stuff... our fights were spectacular altho' infrequent... but truly earth moving... we were so passionate about our opinions and our feelings.... I miss curling up with T most of all....

The Fall is upon us and I normally love the Fall... I am thankful to be able to see it.  I am thankful that I've been very successful this year by making many clients happy with their transitions... Phew!! Lots of work and thankful for it!  I am soo grateful for Riley and his constant companionship.

It's time for re-invention.  I feel it and I know it's time to take some steps.  Gradually, I'm dealing with T's clothes and his things... I'm taking baby steps cause each one is fraught with so much emotion and so many memories.  I know he'd want me to keep going and I'm putting one step in front of the other.

A little catch-up:  took a major step forward with a trip accompanied by Johnny, Shar and Jayne to our Dad's birthplace and the home of his birth which is his first cousin's home- still a Sorcinelli home (Yah they screwed up Dad's name at Ellis Island- Genezio Sorcinelli became John Sorcenelli)  in San Costanzo, Le Marche, Italy in Sept.

Center of San Costanzo


Gorgeous Son, Carla and Mauro


What a fabulous time with our family!!!!  Homemade pasta at lunch and dinner as the first piatti and then, multiple piatti of meat, chicken or fish and veggies and finished with homemade cannoli and always local wine for 4 days and 3 nights.  We saw the artistic side of Daddy's home town this time around.  Mauro married to Carla Sorcinelli was the 6 hr. a week volunteer in the tourist office since retiring from the Fano Tourist bureau.  Mauro knows everyone in his home town, Fano and everyone in San Costanzo... we went to the market in Fano and toured a local winery/farm  that is pioneering sustainable methods.  They grow Sangiovese grapes, wheat that is turned into pasta and olive oil so, they're able to keep their staff year round and they are family.


Johnny in front of the wine guardian

Shar, Jayne, me and Carla

Guerreri Winery

Fabulous View from the Winery
 On our last evening we toured a historic museum after hours.  This was formerly the Prince's castle, Palazzo Cassi, until the town was bequeathed it around the turn of the last century.  A beautiful building that is totally surprising - upon entering you're struck by the bright white winding stairs that surround an elevator in the center... the stairs akin to the Guggenheim Museum in New York ... each floor contains different art or furniture or tools or a photography exhibit of the people of San Costanzo including 'Chano'- Eziziano Sorcinelli (Dad's first cousin) around the 40's I'd guess.  Another floor held the elaborate costumes worn to Carnival in Venice... complete with headpieces and props and footwear.  And the last floor held local artists work ... I fell in love with the work of Roberto Natale Patrizi and since I couldn't resist I asked if there were perhaps a print of 'Il paese dalla finestra' a scene where the view through the window from the artist's studio is San Costanzo or perhaps a website.   Mauro found a print in town by the next morning and I brought it home.

That was the beginning ....  next installment coming soon....

Monday, September 14, 2015

Today is Monday, September 14th

It's Tracy's birthday and I long to celebrate it with him... he would have been a young 66 today. Strange stuff operating within my world so, he sent me a problem with my tire so, I'd stay close to home.... Jayne's b'day celebration on Sat. took place at the new niners stadium- Levi stadium and we enjoyed a fabulous tour of the facility complete with a luncheon and a trip thru the museum... Most poignant for me Tracy's brick is right at the entrance to the stadium...

Adorned with his ring and my heart

missing you baby
Di, Melanie, Mike, Dave, Jennifer, Marilyn, Tyler,Lou,Jayne, Maurice, Me, Bob, Gary, Carla, Tammy, Gary,Deanna, Deb


Gary, Deb, Deanna, Gary, Me, Lou,Carla, Maurice, Tammy, Tyler, Jayne, Marilyn, Melanie, Bob, Jennifer, Dave, Di, Mike

Marilyn & I sharing Brady in the locker room

The birthday girl, Jayne surrounded by 49er swag
That's all she wrote....