Sunday, Halloween 2010

Today is Sunday... a day of worship and we are thanking the Lord for his guidance and support...  I slept very deeply with the aid of a new sleeping pill...man did I need that!  Tracy slept well too... we awoke to the dawn of a new wondrous day... my man is coming home!!!... So many questions for the doctors....and they’ll be here soon...

Victorious T, Dr. Johnson, Wen Jeng, Bruno

Tracy is to use common sense.  Avoid lots of visitors. Rest... Riley will be ok ... T may even make it to Tuscany and the beach.  Slowly, carefully with 2 weekly visits to Stanford for chemo and bone marrow tests... we shall overcome.  They will monitor him carefully and Tracy understands the consequences....

Tracy wants me to get back to our health care story which is the story of many.... We are both self employed.  We pay our taxes.  We pay for a family Blue Shield plan and have been covered continuously for 17 years.  We were healthy at the start of the policy so, we elected a major medical plan with a high deductible so, we’d pay low premiums and pay for all medical visits... it was an emergency insurance policy.  Over the years, our premiums continually increased due to our aging...not for use or abuse.  Until the first incident of Tracy’s strange illness.  Then, after a 25 day stay in 2 different hospitals; our premiums grew by leaps and bounds... until we experienced what most people find insurmountable.... the premiums became larger than most mortgages along with a huge deductible.  At that point, most people give up... I believe that’s what the insurance companies want.  When the cost of insurance coverage competes with food on the table or the roof over your head or gas for your car to stay employed... that’s when you know this country is in trouble.  So, I played the game as best I could.  When our insurance premiums were increased by 40% last year ( in a year where we didn’t use the insurance and never hit our deductible)  to be clear... we paid for all treatment without hitting our deductible AND paid the exorbitant premiums... Now since Tracy is one and a half months younger, we made him the subscriber which delayed the dreaded increase 1.5 months and we increased our deductible to $8000.  This arrangement allowed that once the deductible was met;  our coverage was now 100%.  Thank God for intuition and just blind luck... Had we not elected to pay the higher deductible... we’d be in a world of hurt right now.  With a $4000 deductible, we had been responsible for 30% of charges after meeting said deductible.  We’ve been told that just T’s Stanford hospital room costs $35,000 per day.  OMG!!!  Talk about a world of hurt!!!!

It’s a sad state of affairs that in this our great nation people are forced to make unreal choices... some go without medical insurance because they simply can’t afford it and then, our nation suffers as a whole... wreaking havoc on emergency services, mental health and the prosperity of the masses....  We as a nation must find our way to health care for all... other nations do... and we must!!!


GO GIANTS!!!!  We let the Rangers save face last night... NOW FINISH 'EM OFF!!!!  


GO NINERS!!!  We need this one!!!

World Series Game 3 Update, the 30th

OK So, Tracy just got his last in-room hell shot infusion during the 3rd inning of the 3rd game of the World Series. OK settle down you guys... don't listen to these stupid Fox announcers and please ignore Dubya.. it took the Rangers 12 years to get over his leadership, I wonder how long it'll take this nation... but I digress...

Take a good look! Tw/hair

Liz & Albert  dosing T's Hell Shot

World Series Watching at Stanford

Tracy will also be infused with Neupogen and antibiotics tonite... here's the great news:  his white cell count is up to 1.4 as of this morning!!!!  Normal is 4-11 and he's on his way back baby!!!

Sat. Oct. 30th BEST UPDATE !!!!!

Tracy just called.  He told me to tell my boyfriend to go home... so I said "Riley, get off the bed" and laughed....  I had been in my slug station, watching our wedding video on my laptop in bed....  

Tracy's next words were " I'm coming home tomorrow."

The Doctors had just left T's room.  They said they could trust sending him home.  He will have to return to Stanford twice a week for chemo and next Sat. for another bone marrow test BUT  HE'S COMING HOME TOMORROW!!!!!!

Thank you for your support, love and prayers!!!  KEEP IT COMING!!!

Saturday, October 30th

GOOD NEWS!!!!  What a strange play unfolding....

Tracy had started complaining about his hair hurting and his bones and joints and knees aching...  I was afraid.... and then, who would have thunk?  The Dr’s came in on morning rounds absent Bruno yesterday... Tracy told his tale of woe and the Drs all began to smile and then, they were beaming... and I’m thinking “what the hell?”   Well, the aches and pains indicate that T’s numbers are coming back... that he’s actually responding!!!!  Here we stood at Day 15 in hospital and Day 14 for treatment.  At approximately Day 22 of treatment, the decision for the need to transplant bone marrow is made.  Tracy’s white cell count at admittance was hardly worth noting... he had come all the way up to .7 !!!   I’m convinced that the treatment, the prayers, the love, the faith and the hopes of all of us have gotten Tracy to this point... PLEASE keep it coming!!!!

We’re going to make it and tho’ T’s losing his mane we won’t lose our man!!!!

The rest of the day was a blur... I went home by way of the Apple Genius Bar... no real help for my non-native apps... home to sleep ... I’d only slept about 3 hours Thurs. night.  Now I could rest... Tracy had a massage which he thoroughly enjoyed (thanks Ellen & Tery) and we both relaxed....

Friday, Oct. 29th

Yesterday, was an exciting day... it was like my birthday... presents and surprises were around every corner, building up to pure pleasure...seeing my honey.  I reveled in the joy of last evening’s light bulb moment; when Sam Farr understood what we as Realtors live daily in the face of short sales, REO’s and foreclosures and he truly wanted to help!!! 

I believe that each twist in our paths happens for a purpose and it’s how we deal with that journey which determines our fate... so it’s by virtue of how we experience those highs and lows that we attain the next plane....  

....I awoke at 3:00AM this morning, feeling the enormity of what we’re facing for a long time to come....I hope for the strength to feel my way through and know we have the faith... Tracy just spoke aloud in his sleep “a big juicy burger ... yah that’s right... a big juicy burger”  and then, turned over...  I’m on my separate cot, trying not to laugh...

I digress.... so, yesterday dawned and Riley and I needed a walk.  With a sweater added to my warm ups and realizing too late I should have added mittens... Riley led the way... 2 bags later, a happy boy and I stopped for a cup or two with Jim & Linda.  Riley wasn’t satisfied so, off we went for another lap; changed the open house sign on my Granada listing, home to shower and face the day.  I donned my Giants shirt, orange turtle neck & black jeans and went to the office to copy, scan, sort, save and email the 1031 purchase paperwork and assemble my file... and on to Broker’s Tour to see the latest listings and revel in the Giants’ first win.  After tour, home to grab my assorted bags for the trip to Stanford and was greeted by a stocked to the brim refrigerator.... assembled dinners, packaged individually with instructions for reheating or cooking... enough food for weeks.... I was blown away!!!  Kara & Deb had prepared it all; Deb & Gary had delivered it and Michael & Anna, Kara & Dan and Deb & Gary had contributed the food to sustain me for weeks to come... the thoughtfulness and caring was overwhelming and Fran had brought Halloween candy in a wagon & DCC best wishes for dessert.  Tery and Ellen made arrangements for massages for us at the hospital.  The love and support is overwhelming... the cards and emails and calls sustain us...  thank you from the bottom of my heart... Thank you Johnny & Shar for your lifeline and your love and counsel... you’ll never know....

Each time I exit 280N at Alpine Rd., the excitement mounts...it’s palpable... I’ve got the drill down... find a parking spot... unpack my car, bundle the bags for only one trip, get a visitor’s pass from security and wallah.... my Tracy is just behind the final door and the game is about to begin....

and then, THE GIANTS WHIPPED THE RANGERS!!!!   

We screamed and hollered after every run to alert the nurses to the score... pretty easy chore... strolled as victors through the halls afterward and were kicked out of the admitting area by security (Tracy wanted a closer look at a painting)... after all, a very tall man in a mask and hospital garb and his gal in Giants garb are always a threat.... we laughed like little kids and returned to our little corner of the world...  Tracy showered  and afterward complained that his hair hurt... uh oh... 

Tracy is our DJ this fine morn... Diana Krall does Joni Mitchell’s  “A Case of You”, Iz does “Somewhere Over the Rainbow”, Jackson Browne’s “Late for the Sky”,  James Taylor’s “Fire and Rain”  and Bob Marley sings “emancipate yourself from mental slavery... none but ourselves can free our minds”   and “Get UP, Stand UP for Your Right... Don’t Give UP the FIGHT”,  Clapton’s “Presence of the Lord”, Jesse Winchester's "No Pride At All"

Misty & T

Misty just told us Tracy’s white blood cell count has gone from .5 to .7 !!!!!   Normal is 11 and he’s progressing nicely...

and we greet the day.....

Thursday, October 28th

Tracy sounds like he's back to being normal except he's not here.. I awoke @5 AM yesterday to Riley's call to run with Bina on the beach...Running pre-dawn together they must make quite a sight!!  I made my slug station (full pot of decafe, OJ, vitamins, yogurt, iPhone & MacBook Pro) in bed and began to formulate my ideas and write my blog.  It took awhile and when I’d finished;  it was time to eat.   After scrambled eggs with gouda shared with Riley...  I went to the office to meet with clients.  We are devising the game plan for realizing their dream of buying a little bit of paradise in Prunedale.  As Barry said, “I feel like we’re in a high stakes poker game and I don’t play poker!”  Luckily, I do.  Let the games begin.... Worked out the last few concessions for my 1031 client and we are in contract!!  Now the work begins as we open escrow...

Next stop:  Our Santa Cruz County Association of Realtors hosted Congressman Sam Farr and Assemblymember Bill Monning for a lively discussion about the dismal state of short sales, REO’s and foreclosures and there is some hope... Sam is willing to garner the forces: Regulators, Finance Committee members and Banking heads with we, the Realtors on the front line.  As Sam said, “I’m a fix it guy.” We all want a solution...  As we left the Association, I approached Sam about our favorite topic, health care reform.  I sent him yesterday’s blog. A few of us walked over to Michael’s on Main for dinner and more lively discussion constantly monitoring the first game of the World Series by the screaming in the bar.  Dinner was done by the top of the 8th and it was a major decision to drive home to watch the last inning.  I made it and watched it with Tracy on the line... each of us willing our beloved rag tag Giants to beat the Pros at home against all odds.... I keep telling T that the Giants made it to the World Series and so can he!!!!  

Today is Wednesday, Oct. 27th

Tracy is better... Thank God!  Yesterday was the first time I'd seen my T since Sat. night.  He's being pumped full of antibiotics, hemoglobin, platelets and fluids as the chemo continues...& Tracy still has his hair!!  He sounds like my man again... just very tired.  I just listened to my spiel on KUSP, our Santa Cruz NPR station.  It aired on 88.9FM at 7:33AM and will air again at 4:33 PM today.  Click TeaParty.mp3  for your listening pleasure....

I'm going to speak to our health care crisis this morning.  There is something inherently wrong with a medical industry that has allowed itself to be pushed around and essentially led by the insurance carriers.  There is no doubt in my mind that the insurance carriers are dominating and manipulating the care and treatment that we receive.  I have been preaching about the health care crisis for years now and hoping that health care reform was actually here...My case in point:  A year ago, our medical insurance premiums increased by a whopping 40%!!!!  They had been increasing annually but that was the largest increase by far.  I called Blue Shield and complained to no avail.  Our medical coverage was now costing what a lot of Americans earn annually.   We worked hard and begrudgingly, paid the premiums.  We didn't hit our $8000 deductible last year.  This year, we didn't go to the Dr. unless it was a necessity and yet, our premiums increased another 13%!!!!  Fast forward to Sept. 16th, when our lives were engulfed by the very real and present emergency that threatens Tracy's existence.  As each increasingly serious test was done, we were asked for the Blue Shield negotiated rate up front before services were given.  It tested our patience, emptied our pocketbooks and fulfilled our deductible.  Tracy made a wry comment when asked for $2641 before his lymph node biopsy.  As a licensed General Contractor, he could NOT ask for payment of services prior to completing the work.  Interesting and oh, so true....  Fast forward to Oct. 14th, when Tracy's Oncologist informed us that he was to pack a bag (because they'd probably want to keep him) and appear at the Cancer Center at Stanford the following morning at 8:00AM.  Dr. A also informed us that there was no alternative if T wanted to live more than a couple months.   The gravity of the situation was mind blowing.

We appeared at Stanford according to instructions and were immediately immersed in the fight for Tracy's life.  It is all consuming and without the loving and personal treatment that Tracy is lucky and blessed enough to receive... I don't know how we'd survive.  Now, fast forward 8 days. Tracy has been in treatment and has developed an infection that prevents him from moving his head, speaking and is extremely painful.  The Giant's are about to start their last game of the pennant and all the forces have been gathered.  Tracy is hoping they won't take him for his cat scan until after the game.  I'm hovering.  Tracy evicts me.  I stop at the Whitney's briefly not wanting to rain on their birthday celebration.  I arrive home and cry my fears out and then, proceed to open the mail.  There is a letter from Blue Shield that states that Tracy is only approved for 5 days at Stanford.  Nice....  Yesterday, I called Blue Shield to talk about an EOB (Explanation of Benefits) that we hadn't received, where there hadn't been any contract negotiation by Blue Shield and THE letter.  I was subsequently informed that I could not speak about the policy or coverage since I was no longer the Subscriber... interesting... since I'd been continuously speaking with Blue Shield for the 16 years we'd been covered under my name and also continuously for the last year when Tracy became the Subscriber....no sympathy, empathy, compassion, sensitivity.  My husband is fighting for his life and Blue Shield is dictating what can be done.  I was advised by my sis, Shar, to find the advocate at Stanford.   I took the five page document that would grant my ability to speak to Blue Shield for us and THE letter to Tracy.  He filled out the authorization and signed it.  I then found our advocate.  She very tactfully informed me that insurance companies were all the same and this was the reason for her position.  These advocates are forced to ask for treatment approval every 2 days.  So, insurance companies are dictating our treatment... NOT our Doctors.  Isn't there something glaringly WRONG with this picture?  I'm disgusted to discover that this is the very real state of our health care today.  WE NEED HEALTH CARE REFORM and we need it now!!!!