Today is Wednesday, April 8th 2020

Well this Connecticut Yankee was just turned on to a website www.getmainelobster.com and boy, did I take advantage!  The highlight of my day, week and month will result in a surf & turf for Easter for this homesick puppy....  I'm excited!!!!  Thanks Deb!!!

So, I'm wondering how all of you peeps deal with this shut-in status...  I have found myself in the same pj's or I guess I could call them lounging pajamas... sounds a little better?... for 2 and I'm reluctant to say sometimes 3 days.  Then, I do a deep dive... shower, strip the bed or sometimes just change sides... since it IS a Cal King and there's a totally unused and clean side to abuse... ha!  What you say?

I find I'm listening to music and wanting more... it's the little things that bring pleasure.... music brings such peace....
after all, forewarned by Michael before it hit the news... the beach is NOT safe right now.  Think about the fact that the rivers and creeks wash into the ocean and after the last couple storms, the scientists have begun to suspect that the ocean spray may hold Covid 19 particles... damn!  Who would have thunk? 

So, I'm forgoing walks to the beach for awhile... besides I've read and heard in multiple news sources that there's another critical point approaching in the pandemic.  So, why not stay home for a few more days and stay safe?!!!!

Today is Tuesday, April 7th, 2020

I wonder if I'm handling this as well as most?  I've lost interest in most things and have consigned myself to staying home... emptying the freezer; the pantry and being a little creative with ingredients... and of course raiding the wine stash.  Today was a non- alcohol day... all I wanted was bubbly water.   I keep thinking today's the day to go food shopping and yet, something is telling me to stay home.  So, I've finished another book 'The Accidental Empress' by Potaki and even started looking for the 2nd in the series and realized I have lots more books and magazines here in my house to consume... so why bother?  perhaps something to look forward to...

So, I have a couple major things that need specialized repairmen and yet, I really don't want anyone to come into my house... my Fisher & Paykel dishwasher drawers decided to crash Sat. nite  F1 is the error code and I did the logical thing... unplugged it.  According to their website, I need a repair tech.  Plugged it back in yesterday, and nothing was magically fixed.  Oh well... I guess I'll see if the dishwasher in the bar works.  Ha!  I can't remember the last time I used it.  It can wait and I can still wash dishes....

Then there's the furnace... runs constantly and my house isn't warm.  Lucky for me, the temperature outside is rising so, hopefully, I can do something about that in a few months when we're free to return to life.

I do believe it's gonna take another month at least to be free from this sheltering in place situation. 

The good news is I'm retired, I'm lucky and I'm healthy... and there are times that I don't leave the house for a few days at a time.... now, if I could only become motivated to create ... perhaps....

Stay safe and healthy and stay home!!!!

Today is Thursday, April 2nd 2020

Wow!  What should I do with myself today?... let's see it's a week today, actually last Thursday, since I'd gone anywhere in my car....for some fresh veggies and my favorite sugarless coffee creamer.  I had watched Rachael Ray while getting ready to shower and she'd prepared " Pasta alla Norma with Lamb" which looked sooo interesting!  It incorporated all the ingredients I loved - eggplant, ground lamb and then, some other novelties for me and I was salivating.  I figured what the hell?!  Why not go for it????

Off to Safeway in Capitola at a non-prime time;  I walked in with my Sierra Club small cold bag over one arm and a reusable bag on the other and gloves, ignoring the shopping carts and any shoppers from a distance.  I desperately needed my Lucerne sugarless French Vanilla and Hazelnut creamers for morning coffee and some fresh veggies and other items for the sauce.  I perused any aisle with no one in it.  Lo and behold, organic eggplant, organic grass fed lamb and salad makings were available but not dried Fusilli con Buco, sweet vermouth, organic cherry tomatoes, tomato passata, or Calabrian chili paste. So, after unloading all my items on the counter and repacking my own bags;  I was off in pursuit of my missing items.... next stop, Deluxe market in my hood... the purveyor of all things Italian...  there I found everything BUT Calabrian chili paste... thankfully, Rachael had suggested substitutions.  I got home about 3:30 and decided to get to it!

Cooking has always been solace for me... only, I'm always wanting to have company so that, the food prepared with love is shared with family and friends....  Covid 19 had reared its ugly head and that wouldn't be possible the normal way.  No, not now... so, I ate my delicious dinner accompanied by a fine Zin and the TV in my bar and planned.  There was way too much sauce and no way would it freeze and besides, I really wanted to share it.  What to do?  I called my neighbors and said I had made their dinner for Friday evening ... turns out both homes ended up with several dinners... per usual, I had made a lot of food and most peeps love leftovers.  How to share?  Well, each party brought a container and I filled it with pasta and this fabulous sauce and I was able to share, albeit awkwardly... I revelled in the praise the next day for my 'shared' gourmet meal.  We'll all get better at it as we proceed in this new world and its many constraints.

This past week has been very interesting... I'm learning that escape doesn't always do it for me.  I've read 4 books in the past few days and finally, figured out who to contact for help with my blog.  You see, that's the stuff my honey always took care of.  Turns out, GoDaddy was able to redirect my domain names to my blog and I've spent a little time editing my profile and now, finally I'm up and writing...

Stay tuned....

Today is Tuesday, March 24th 2020

 It's been a very long time but I'm finally realizing that writing shall set me free... We're in some crazy freaking times, folks.  All these new terms we're now recognizing and acknowledging - Pandemic; sheltering in place; social distancing.....

I was supposed to have been in Florida visiting my family      (March 14-21) this past week.  Canceled my trip while packing and listening to t rump announce the National Emergency.  Up to that moment, I’d been convinced that I’d be safe traveling.  Now, absolutely forced to acknowledge the new reality:  precarious nature of travel - the Petri dish ️... it was time to give in and heed my intuition and my friends/families' advise and cancel my trip.  

So instead, I've been sheltering in place.... reading the beginning of the Jesse Stone series by Robert Parker plus quite a lot of stuff that was ignored by my bedside; playing Words with Friends; streaming; calling friends and listening; texting, and walking.... frustrated by the hoarding mentality and loss of control looking for the release of laughter and music. 

On St. Patty’s day, rather than celebrating with my Irish in-laws in Florida;  I ventured out to our newest Aptos Village Organic grocery store, New Leaf and did a little shopping.  It was quiet, clean and anxiety free for me; devoid of the big box mentality.  Ended up marinating and grilling a filet mignon, baked a purple yam (my first but definitely not my last- yum!) added a salad and paired it with a fine Cabernet...mmmmmm. 

 Took a 4.5 mile walk at Seacliff with Jan on Saturday... 

that’s been my week....  I miss hugs and the wonderful social gatherings on our Monday hikes!!!! 

We must find a way to thwart the anxiety and bleak nature of facing down this pandemic... we're all in it together and all anyone will remember when this is over is the way we've treated each other...smile, live the golden rule and WASH your hands!!!!

Love, peace and health to you all ️🏻🤟

Today is Sunday, January 7th, 2018

 I know that in the deepest part of my soul this is what I should be doing... WRITING!!! 

Life is a series of engagements... bingeing on whatever appeals at the moment, music, food, cooking, chocolate, books, Longmire, walks, hikes... perhaps dance?

I am intrigued again and that's a good thing.  I started digesting "Option B" a wonderful present from Jayne and realized that in a lot of ways I've been giving into the easy way.  It's easy to look for entertainment to be taken away from the sadness and yet, that's just another phase...

Life unfolds ... another day has elapsed and I wonder what will tomorrow bring?

Today is Monday, August 21st 2017

I've survived and thrived and I'm alive!!!!!  Saturday marked the 3rd anniversary of Tracy's death and I wasn't sure how I would or could handle it.  Throw a party --- no, I don't think so... be alone....no, I don't think so... the smallest gathering of loved ones possible? YES!!  So, after the last open house at my listing on Saturday, I stopped at Deluxe and got T's favorites: guacamole, chips and a Very Berry Gizdich pie (later we'd be ordering his other favorite - pizza ).  Home to assemble toasting glasses and Hornitos Reposado Tequila and on to gather my family's ashes:  Spec, Riley, T's Dad and T.  Who knew the ceramic container holding Spec and the wooden box holding Riley weren't accessible?  Well, that changed the dynamic but with wonderful suggestions from Deb, Carla and Gar, we arrived at a solution... I mixed Big Mc with T (Toni had brought out their Dad's ashes years ago ) and then, scooped a nice manageable amount into a bag and off we went to the beach....  T loved Hidden Beach.  He walked down to Hidden Beach as often as possible ... even when he was too ill to walk it;  he'd load Riley and I into his blue bomber and drive down to the beach...

T joined his Dad on the beach

You know it's right when first, 1000's of birds do an unreal endless flight north...  Deb caught it on video and for some insane quirky reason I can't post it..


 then, as we toasted T the whales started breaching and playing all over the place!!!  It was unreal!!!  It was if T was saying "finally! I'm happy now"  and as I walked and spread their ashes... I spoke to the love of my life.... even sang a bit.... and the whales just kept on playing....

Today is Tuesday, June 20th 2017

I can't even believe how long it's been since I last wrote a blog.  Life has been exciting, terrifying, depressing, lovely, wistful, lonely and I guess, you might say 'normal'.  I lost the love of my life almost 3 years ago and I've been working at finding my way back to 'happy' ever since.  It's an uphill struggle at times but I'm told, grief is a spiral staircase.... each day I awake now, grateful to be alive and thankful for the beauty that surrounds me... and no matter what, missing my T.  "you would've loved that" "oh, our song"  " you would have been crazy mad about that"  and on and on....

I realized this morning after reading an excerpt from Sheryl Sandberg's "Option B" that I had been depriving myself of a critical piece in my slog back from despair....  Writing is a part of who I am... worrying over punctuation and/or grammar is ridiculous compared with the ability to speak from my soul....and get it all out.

Feeling loss so deeply grounded in guilt and remorse isn't healthy for anyone altho' we probably all experience a bit of it.  In the back of my mind, streams of 'you should have' .. 'why didn't you'...'perhaps'... mire my conscious mind and burden me enough to want escape.  Oh, and there's a lot to escape to... streaming content on Netflix and Amazon Prime or any Michael Connelly or Lee Child book allows me to immerse and put my mind at ease....

Then, there's politics... I could rant and rave for hours about the fact that we're living in a country where there's no longer a right or wrong - you're either right or left and that shapes your view of all the shenanigans and the hooligans... that's where I miss T the most.  He and I would have a lot to rant about and that's only part of it.

 I should acknowledge that I've been thinking about slowing down my career too but just as tho' I were planning a vacation;  here come lots of clients wanting my help.

Well, better get back to it... since I'm not going anywhere soon...