I’m finding it hard to have the words to write lately. I have had some really good days & then…
We had our 3rd power outage over the last several weeks… lots of broken and falling branches which snag power lines right in my little hood. So, Sat. another one and finally, the power comes back on. So, I notice that when I venture out; there aren’t any messages on my digital machine. Then, I notice on Mon. that when I try to answer the phone, the digital machine here in my house AND Comcast are trying to give a message AND Tracy’s message is not one of them. I shut everything down and push way too many buttons and am immediately hysterical because Tracy’s outgoing message is gone. No longer are we the McAnelli’s and it takes 2 days to stop crying. I do realize it’s not the end of the world, only my world.
Having said all that... I do have wonderful times where I put my head into thinking of other things especially work... and finding anything and everything to avoid my tax preparation. The beauty of the coast is amazing right now... clear crystal blue skies and calm water...
Life does go on and I feel very proud of myself for finally figuring out my water heater ( I played with the timer on the booster? and my MB shower head valve so it now works) ah a shower where I'm not holding the wand cause it's set up way too high for a very tall man .. the programmable lights that adorn the front of the house and managed to fill in the 20' abandoned but resurfaced well in my front driveway. I do feel like I'm coming back as I miss Tracy's all knowing intelligence or ability to figure it out, his wit, his presence and conversation and his loving arms...
They say I'll get to the point where he won't be uppermost in my thoughts... hard to imagine...
I know I miss the male presence and alternative view...
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